Suicide has become a serious and indispensable topic in the world today, but it’s not treated like an alarming plague. Countless number of times, we hear of suicide happenings in different places with different stories and reasons behind this distasteful act. In fact, we don’t seem to care at all, we don’t want to bother ourselves with other people’s predicaments because you feel you don’t need to and such event has never happened to any of your loved ones.
I battled with depression and anxiety for years, went through lots of motivational talks and articles searching for at least anything to cheer me up, searching for a way out and wanting to get rid of my problem. No matter how hard i tried, I constantly felt empty and broken deep down inside of me even if I also tried to pretend it isn’t there. What gets me upset the most is watching people tell me all is going to be just fine, makes me want to punch them in the face real hard they become dumb. The pain inside of me was so hurty I would do anything to make it go away.
If you saw me, you perhaps wouldn’t see someone dying slowly of silence. You wouldn’t see someone holding back the tears every second of the day. You wouldn’t recognize someone wishing and praying for the pain to go away, even if it’s for just few minutes. I was so close to call it an end , but no one would ever know because no one cares about my burden. In those moments, only one thing kept me going, “GOD”. You see each time i felt lonely, pissed off for no reason, God was there for me. He took me through those ugly times and brought me out finally, only to realize how strong I was. He was there to motivate me each time i tried to look down on myself.
People have all kinds of perception for suicide, some think it’s a choice or funny when it’s a situation of life and death. Victims of suicide often go through traumatic experiences like mental illness, depression and anxiety, war, abuse and a lot more. No matter how hard you try to talk them out of it, you always end up feeling you wasted your time speaking to numskulls. You just can never know how it affects someone.
If you ever want to commit or even think of doing it, have a moment with yourself for a while, work through the aftermath.Think deeply about what life holds for you, give yourself time to figure out how you can make good use of your life. When you feel you can no longer hold on to what keeps you breathing, what keeps you going even at the point of giving up entirely, Thoughts racing through your mind to end your life, only to see that there is no going back forever. The fact that you feel like going extra miles to escape the excruciating pain, being so hurt that you stop feeling anything, is a problem. Someone truly loves you even when the whole world lets you down. You never change anything by committing suicide, you still going feel the pain and this time, forever. There is always a chance for you, you are worth everything.
You are afraid to talk to someone about what you are going through because you think they wouldn’t respond the way you want them to. Don’t allow depression, all kinds of mental trauma to consume you. You are a human, not a toy or some kind of doll. Fight for what you want, you can’t sit and expect help to come running into your arms, you deserve better.